27 April 2020 - 31 days...

Thirty-One Days      Angela

At 70 years old 31 days doesn’t seem a very long time but somehow looking back it seems a very important 31 days.  Is it possible to change in 31 days? Yes of course, its possible to change something every day but somehow that doesn’t happen very often, well certainly not for me.

So, what has the last 31 days done for me?  It’s given me an opportunity to learn, there was no alternative and I didn’t really like it, especially what seemed to me to be positive discrimination of a number.  I suddenly wasn’t allowed to do things – was I back to being treated like a child I wondered?

I’ve also learnt I don’t need to be afraid of retiring, eventually!!!  I can withstand where I live and my hubby without going around the twist.  I can enjoy a non-busy time.  On the other hand, I also learnt it’s not the time to retire, I need to forget that ‘number’ and the expectations of others around that ‘number’ and just continue to enjoy learning and watching others learn as they tell me about their story.

I think possibly the most important thing I’ve learnt is how I can learn more about myself.  That I’ve learnt from being invited to join a writing group, from listening to others and of course listening to ‘all the parts of me’, including the joys, the hurts, the judgements, the misunderstanding, everything that goes with everyday life for everyone.

I’ve also realised that online learning is okay for me and this has given me greater access to different things.  The best outcome from this is I have something to do in the darker evenings rather than watching the television.

Finally, I’ve also learnt I need to encourage and improve my rebellious part and stop feeling guilty.  This will be a real challenge for me and it will be about my fear of shame, which will always be there.  This also reinforces my aim to try and educate teachers that they need to be aware of how they treat students and the impact of shame.  Of course, I’ll be there to support students to recognise this and the one thing I know for sure is that it’s going to take a lot longer than 31 days.