16 April 2020 - What is more important in lockdown than expected?

Importance level - Michael Hewerdine

For me the lock down has been a journey of discovery about myself and perceptions, because no matter how much you practice something, doing it makes a difference.

I’m trained in Civil Defence and taken tests that are supposed to verify whether or not you’re suitable in an emergency.

I’ve taken those personality tests for one reason or another that say I’m an extrovert ,not extreme, creative and good with detail and calm under pressure, although one memorable guy did say ‘well, you don’t look like an axe-murderer’.

Take this pandemic though, for real you disclose a lot more about yourself in a void, a space where it’s not about do, more about less, a hibernation. So I resist the opportunity to gather nuts for winter and try to get into that slower pace, how life might have been like hundreds of years ago.

I discover unsurprisingly that I like company, the randomness of people and movement, I miss that. Is it the most important though? No.

I think the most important thing is love, caring and being cared about. Seeing nature blossom and the growth in neighbourhood. Hearing the happy laughter of kids nearby in a paradise of family time.

I found myself thinking more about family, making more calls, touching base, and here at home we’ve been able to do more together. Have a laugh as well as see a bit more how we are under pressure because my partner is in front-line health.

Fiona was up at 4.30am for a zoom on the clinical latest, she borrowed my headphones, & had her space. I took her a cuppa this-morning and listened. There’s no need to rush off. You make time.

So I think I have felt love expanding, inside and out. It doesn’t seem to need an identity, just being there, being grateful, going easy on yourself and accepting things for what they are.

A period of graceful growth for me and all the other beautiful little bubbles who are part of my life.